6th June
For whatever reason I have woken up at 4am. Think I might have been hungry, also could be anxious. Whatever reason, I’m basking in the hours of the day that, as a night owl, I rarely get to see. Feels like a good time to get some of my thoughts out of my head. Long overdue, but I forgot how full time, full time work actually is.
So much has happened in the last weeks, including the death of George Floyd. It has seemed far too trivial to post about the day to day anxieties of a privileged white girl. I should not have the right to feel anxious when there is so much injustice. The pandemic too, seems fairly insignificant in comparison.
Going back to work after months of doing nothing was a shock to the system. I had very much settled into the CERB life (emergency money from the Canadian government). I had just signed myself up to an online photography course, imagining this would be the way of the world for another month at least. I was wrong. The first week of work felt so full on that I didn't have any thoughts in my head to write down. I was already so far behind posting the corona diary days (about 2.5 weeks worth of notes and pics) and suddenly no hope of ever finding the time to do it.
Unsurprisingly too, work was completely different. A million new health and safety measures in place, i.e, socially distant tables, plexi-glass everywhere, wearing face masks (I’m now noticing the first mask induced spots appearing along my jawline), sanitising everything as soon as it’s been touched by anything, etc etc. Corona also forced a whole bunch of work mates to leave Whistler. This left us slightly short staffed, meaning long and exhausting hours, even with a reduced capacity of customers.
I forgot how much I hate serving unpleasant people. Yesterday, a lady asked to get a refund on the tip she left me because apparently I was rude (I was not rude). But also, it has been cool to be part of people’s first restaurant experiences in this new world. People have been scared, excited and overwhelmed. I got my first big sympathy COVID tip from a family with two young teen girls who were particularly nervous of being out in public. I had tried my best to make them feel OK. I’ve awkwardly watched pent up isolation frustration pour out in front of me, whilst taking their payment. I’ve also learnt not to ask how people’s lock down experiences have been, unless they say something about it first.
It’s taken time to get used to the new safety things. We have to roll the cutlery now, then cover it in cling film (more hygienic). Turns out I’m as bad at rolling cutlery as I am at wrapping presents, not my forte. I found myself taking extra time sitting in the toilet stalls, with my mask off, to get some fresh air. Seems counterproductive in any other normal sense. After my first few late night shifts, I went to bed with the sensation of the mask still on my face. Makes me think about all the little things healthcare workers have had to endure during this pandemic. I am also utterly exhausted from talking to people. When you have only conversed with a handful of people for 2 months, a whole 8 hours of small talk is a lot.
In other news, Isaac most likely has to go home before the end of his visa, forcing us to do a 180 with our plans of maybe starting residency. New plan: quit jobs ASAP and leave for a road trip ASAP, as our time in Canada is now limited. I’m finishing writing this now in the van, which is completely finished, a week into a road trip on Vancouver Island. There are definitely future stresses ahead of us, i.e, when he goes back to Aus, the huge uncertainty of when we will see each other again. It also means that we are also going to have to sell the van, which makes me very, very sad. But we e will cross these bridges later. For now, just got to focus on what’s in front of us and enjoy living in Flora for a while. I may get round to putting some stuff up about our travels, but also not making any promises.
